I loved him and Yes It was me who left him! He betrayed me not once but every time, every chance he got. Even after this, I loved him because it was what others called Blind Love!
One day I found him cheating on me, I know fighting or arguing won’t help without a proof, he won’t let me go that easily and he won’t stay loyal to me either. His lies only add fuel to my anger, his words sounds to me like a blowing horn. So, I betrayed him. Yes you heard it right, I betrayed him too and Yes I did it purposely without giving it any second thought.
Love makes no sense to me now after all, what matters to everyone is a 4-word letter and i.e. not love but NEED. I got into not one but many relations or what’s better known as affairs. Counting doesn’t matter to me now. When you are cheating you are cheating, with one or two that doesn’t get count.
I hook up with him too and stay all-the-time alert like a RAW agent on its mission. Saying lie gives me bliss though stepping into his shoes proved a difficult task for me. Everything that he did to me, I repaid him in an exact way with all the due respect and yes I am still into him. It’s clever me, cruel me, but it isn’t real me. I enjoyed betraying him, knowing he is betraying me too.
Once or twice I messed up things and got caught up but it only made me say more lies to him. I am slowly learning this art now. But Diary, while staying with him I feel close to him once again. I hear my heart beating for him all the time. Eventually, I felt his need again but then all the memories of him fooling me, betraying me reminds me of my pain. Am I losing from my aim?
I think of others, I think of them getting hurt for no reason, so I don’t wanna do it again. But no, I have to gather my anger because I have to make him feel the same. My conscience can’t tell me anymore that I am wrong. Even though I am cheating, I won’t step back because I am hurt and now blind in pain. I killed my soul with Cupid’s dagger in my heart.
One day I got the chance to go away from him but in vain. I cannot leave him and I don’t know why. For this, I put on him the blame. After all, this game is a shame. I left him knowing he will leave me someday too. I didn’t say him anything, I only kept it in my brain. At last, I came to know two things – First, I cannot be a Cheater, Second I loved him who never loved me.
Dear Diary, you are my only friend and I hope that at least you will understand me.
It is a fiction, Please do not take it otherwise!